Parents Dictionary

PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF KIDS KITCHEN TERMS

APPETIZING:


Anything advertised on TV.


BOIL:


The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.


CASSEROLE:


Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.


CHAIR:


Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.


COOKIE (LAST ONE):


Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.


CRUST:


Part of a sandwich saved for the starving children of China, India, Africa, or Europe (check one).


DESSERTS:


The reason for eating a meal.


EVAPORATE:


Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.


FAT:


Microscopic substance detected visually by children on pieces of meat they do not wish to eat.


FLOOR:


Place for all food not found on lap or chair.


FORK:


Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers.


FRIED FOODS:


Gourmet cooking


FROZEN:


Condition of children's jaws when Spinach is served.


FRUIT:


A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.


GERMS:


The only thing kids will share freely.


KITCHEN:


The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.


LEFTOVERS:


Commonly described as "gross."


LIVER:

A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike.


LOLLIPOP:


A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills.


MACARONI:


Material for a collage.


MEASURING CUP:


A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox.


METRIC:


A system of measurement that will be accepted only after forty  years wandering in the desert.


NAPKIN:


Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants.


NATURAL FOOD:


Food eaten with unwashed hands.


NUTRITION:


Secret war waged by parents using direct commands, camouflage, and constant guard duty.


PLATE:


A breakable Frisbee.


REFRIGERATOR:


A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.


SALIVA:


A medium for blowing bubbles.


SODA POP:


Shake'N Spray.


TABLE:


A place for storing gum.


TABLE LEG:


Percussion instrument


THIRSTY:


How your child feels after you've said your final "good night."


VEGETABLE:


A basic food known to satisfy kid's hunger but only by sight.


WATER:


The cola of underdeveloped countries.