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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Pantun Raya serata negeri

pantun raya

Kelantan...
Make ikke cicoh budu
Jange lupo tamboh satar
Kelik rayo taksir laju
Nanti rayo dale sepita


Terengganu...
Makang ubi jamang jepong
Makang kepok cicah cuke
Bulang pose mung bengong
Bulang raye mung gile


Pahang...
Sepadan Pahang ada kasino
Nasi dagang ikan patin
Jange mu masam muko
Raya makan rendang sadin


Johor...
Cegitu cegini awak suke
Awak suke kite tak suke
Esok luse hari raye
Sama-sama bersuke rie


Melaka...
Hawau kau jalan merate
Kaki bengkak ulau patok
Kalu balik naik kerete
Jangan pandu kalau ngantok


N. Sembilan...
Masak lomak cili api
Campo dongan daun turi
Hari rayo kolumpo sopi
Tinggal penyamun dongan pencuri
(org kolumpo jgn kocik ati!!)


Selangor/K.Lumpur...
Wa cakap lu wa tak tau
Tapi wa tipu sama lu
Raya jangan buat tak tau
Angpau ada bagi gua dulu


Perak...
Gulei tempoyak ikan mayong
Deroyan busok tebok tupei
Pandu hemat ingat kampong
Ase(Asal) teman selamat sampei


Kedah...
Aloq Staq terketaq-ketaq
Lapaq perut makan pau
Macam mana tak ketaq
Kena paksa bagi angpau


Penang...
Nasi kandaq kedai mamak
Anak mami juai pesemboq
Lepaih raya jgn dok triak
Kalu ceti mai kot dapoq


Perlis...
Padang besaq kecik aja
Tempat siam lalu lalang
Hari raya kita berbelanja
Jangan sampai menambah utang

Hantu Bonceng di Ipoh

Korang.. nie aku ada satu cerita ngeri aku nak share ngan korang.. kisah nie berlaku kat kawan aku kat Ipoh la.. Kisah Hantu Bonceng.


Kawan aku nama dia Ahmad.. dia nie kerja kilang ikut shif.. dia nie shif petang so balik tengah malam la.Satu malam tu dia lalu la kat jalan nak ghi airport kat Ipoh nie.. then sampai kat satu masjid.. depan masjid nie ada tempat sampah.. ala tempat sampah busuk gile.. tapi malam tu tempat tu jadi wangi..then ada sorang pompuan pakai baju serba putih tahan dia. Kata nya nak tumpang sampai kat hujung kampung.


So yang kawan aku nie bagi la tumpang. So pompuan nie pun naik la.. dia punya wangi punya la semacam aje..Then kawan aku nie dah naik seram sejuk.. so sampai la kat satu jalan yang berbukit so dia nie press la minyak moto dia coz nak cepat dan dah rasa semacam bawak pompuan nie.. lepas aje kawasan bukit tu.. dia rasa ringan aje moto dia.. so dia paling la muka dia kat belakang.. tengok-tengok pompuan tu dah hilang..tapi masih wangi.. dia nie apa lagi terus pecut moto balik ghumah.. terus masuk selimut tidoq bawah katil.  Seram sejuk la weh..... tak lena tido dia malam tu.

So esok tu dia ghi keja lagi.. balik ikut jalan yang sama jugak. Sampai kat tempat semalam, pompuan semalam ada lagi kat situ. Then dia nie dah naik bulu roma terus pecut moto.. tapi moto dia macam tak nak jalan bila betul-betul depan pompuan tu.. apa nak buat dah terstop kat situ.. pompuan tu celapak naik (tumpang la tu) moto si Ahmad nie.. so dalam keadaan seram sejuk Ahmad nie
terus aje.. bawak moto tanpa tengok belakang sambil baca ayat apa yang patut.. kecut perut dia weh. 



Ssampai tempat berbukit kelmarin.. pompuan yang tumpang tu tepuk bahu si Ahmad nie so si Ahmad nie tak nak paling belakang jugak.. pompuan nie tepuk lagi bahu dia.. so bila dah dua tiga
lagi tepuk dia pun paling la.. si pompuan tu masih kat belakang moto dia.. then pompuan tu cakap kat Ahmad cam nie



"Abang, jangan bawak laju sangat, semalam adik jatuh tergolek kat sini".


Hok aloh.... bukan hantu ropa-ropa nyer.... sabor je la.


Chot ke library

Chot ke Perpustakaan
Chot merempuh masuk ke satu perpustakaan awam dan meluru ke meja pendaftaran.

"Saya nak buat aduan! Saya nak komplen!" jerkah Chot.

"Ada apa, encik?" tanya pustakawan bertugas.

"Saya ada pinjam satu buku cerita dari sini minggu lepas dan ianya sungguh mendukacitakan! " kata Chot.

"Apa masalahnya?" tanya pustakawan itu lagi.

"Banyak sangat watak dalam buku cerita tu dan saya tak paham langsung apa yang cuba buku tu kisahkan. Tak ada jalan cerita langsung!"

Pustakawan tersebut berkata,
"Ahh... jadi, encik ni la yang ambil buku panduan telepon kami yang dah hilang dekat seminggu tu!"

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Drama Kambing & Ayam

Kambing dan ayam adalah kawan baik. Mereka berkawan sejak mereka baru dilahirkan lagi.

Pada suatu hari,ayam telah menghiaskan dirinya dengan menyangkut manik-manik yang berkilauan pada setiap helaian bulunya. Tajinya diasah sehingga berkilauan dan berjalanlah ia menuju ke kediaman kambing. Tiba di kediaman kambing, ayam pun menyapa sahabatnya itu.
 
Ayam: Kambing, pekabo?

Kambing: Baik. Wah,ayam. Bukan main lagi kau. Kau nak ke mana hensem-hensem ni.
 
Ayam: Takde ke mana. Sesajalah nak tengok riaksi engko.

Kambing: Tapi kan ayam, macam mana pun ko berhias, ko jalan tetap kaki ayam,kan?
 
Ayam: Ko kutuk aku ye. Ko pun apa kurangnya.
 
Kambing: Apa?

Ayam: Nampak je macam alim. Bela janggut. Tapi telur nampak...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why Parents Have Grey Hair

WHY PARENTS HAVE GRAY HAIR

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there anyone else there in your house?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the Boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper, " answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now very alarmed.
In an awed hushed voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper. "
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle:soft laugh
"Me...."

Hampeh betul kalau dpt anak cam ni..... Sabor je la.

Merdeka kah kita?

Someone forwardkan email ni beberapa tahun lalu.  Bacalah petikannya dan fikir-fikirkanlah....


*********************************


"Ayah, merdeka tu apa?"


"Anakku, merdeka itu ialah bebasnya negara kita dari penjajah"


"Penjajah tu apa ayah"


"Penjajah itu ialah orang luar yang memerintah negara kita. Contohnya.. orang jahat masuk rumah kita dan kemudian dia nak ambil rumah kita!"


"Mana boleh dia buat macam tu ayah! Ini rumah kita!"


"Betul tu anakku! Sebab itulah datuk nenak kita lawan penjajah tu. Ini Negara kita! Ini rumah kita! Mana boleh kita beri kepada orang lain!"




Aku berbangga dengan pendirianmu anakku walaupun engkau seorang puteri berumur 8 tahun.


Aku bercerita kepadanya tentang perjuangan pahlawan-pahlawan kita dahulu menentang penjajah.


Aku bercerita kepadanya tentang Mat Kilau, Datuk Bahaman dan Tok Gajah di Pahang.


Aku bercerita kepadanya tentang Tok Janggut di Kelantan.


Aku bercerita kepadanya tentang Datuk Maharajalela di Perak.


Aku bercerita kepadanya tentang Mat Saleh di Sabah.


Aku bercerita.. bercerita… dan bercerita..


Anakku mendengar dengan tekun.


Kita adalah anak merdeka wahai anakku. Merdeka!!..


Merdeka???




Aku sering membawa anakku bersiar di taman.


Aku sering membawa anakku bersiar di komplek membeli belah.


Aku sering membawa anakku bersiar di mana-mana sahaja di bumi merdeka ini




"Ayah, Ustazah ada ajar Nurin pasal aurat.. aurat lelaki dan perempuan"


"Kenapa abang tu tak tutup aurat ayah?"


"Kenapa kakak tu tak pakai tudung ayah?"


Aku hanya mampu bermonolog. Entahlah… mereka tahu pasal dosa dan pahala wahai anakku tetapi mereka tak endahkannya.


Aku bertanya sendirian.. 'merdeka'kah agamaku?


Aku bertanya sendirian.. 'merdeka'kah pemikiran anak bangsa kita?


Rupanya terlalu 'merdeka' perlakuan anak bangsa kita!




"Anakku, ingatlah tentang perjuangan datuk nenak kita dahulu"


"Yang paling penting wahai anakku… kibarkan dan tegakkan panji Islam walau di mana saja engkau berada"


"Wahai anakku yang dikasihi, genggam dengan kemas pegangan agamamu!"


"Wahai anakku yang dicintai, ingatlah senantiasa kalimah


Laailaahaillallah. . Muhammadurrasulullah…"


******************


Ini ingatan untukku yg kadang kala lalai.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Nothing To Lose & Everything To Gain

Why do the degree holders sometimes did not have a good carrer compared to their less educated peer.  I believe that hardwork, positive mindset and hunger for success are some of the answers which bring the not highly educated person to the next level, sometimes even better than their school friends who manage to get degree.

Recently I met with a guy who was a school dropout and started his career from lower level staff. He now have a good career and at the same time running a small business which is profitable and giving him an extra income to lead a comfortable life. 

Now, reading about an ex gang member who rise himself to be a millionnaire is really an inspiring story. He show us that you don't need a degree or master to be successsful. Enjoy the story of Ryan Blair and get inspired, okay.

@#@#@#@#@#@#
Forbes

From Gang Member To CEO

by Dan Schawbel, contributor

I recently caught up with Ryan Blair, who is a serial entrepreneur and author of the new book "Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain." Ryan established his first company, 24-7 Tech when he was only twenty-one years old. Since then, he has created and actively invested in multiple start-ups and has become a self-made multimillionaire. After he sold his company ViSalus Sciences to Blyth in early 2008, the global recession took the company to the brink of failure resulting in a complete write off of the stock and near bankruptcy. Ryan as CEO went "all in" betting his last million dollars on its potential and turned the company around from the edge of failure to more than $150,000,000 a year in revenue in only 16 months winning the coveted DSN Global Turn Around Award in 2010. In this interview, Ryan talks about how he re-branded himself after being in a gang, the issues with the education system, and more.
How did you shake your criminal record and re-brand yourself?
I remember when I was working my way up in the first company that employed me, I used to have nightmares that one day they'd find out about that I had been in a gang, call me into the office, and fire me. In the beginning I didn't talk much about what I'd been through. But eventually when I got to a point where I had established myself as a professional entrepreneur, I embraced my past, used it as part of my branding, and crossed over.


In this day and age people want authenticity. Now that the world is social, people know all about you. Assuming you decided to join humanity, that is. It turned out that as I started showing my true identity, so did the rest of the world. One of the reasons my company ViSalus is one of the fastest growing companies in the industry today is because we share our good, bad, and ugly. Like sharing a video of me playing a practical joke on one of my employees, for instance. As a result of embracing authenticity, I turned the company around from near bankruptcy to over $15 million a month today. Unlike our competitors, our distributors and customers know exactly who we are, and I'd say that corporate America has a lot of catching up to do.

What's your take on the educational system? Will a college degree help or hurt your chances at starting a successful business?
As a product of Los Angeles's public school system, in a state with the highest dropout rate in the nation (about 20 percent), I can tell you from personal experience that some of our brightest minds are being misidentified because of a one-size-fits-all learning environment. Because I had ADD and dyslexia I never got past the 9th grade.
I recall sitting with a career counselor in continuation high school, being told that I didn't have the intellect or aptitude to become a doctor or a lawyer. They suggested a trade school, construction, something where I'd be working with my hands.
The irony is that today I employ plenty of doctors and lawyers. Would you rather be a doctor or a lawyer, or a guy who writes a check to doctors and lawyers?
If President Obama phoned me today and told me he was appointing me Educational Czar, I'd turn education into a business, a capitalistic, revenue driven system, creating a competitive environment where each school is trying to attract customers, based on quality of customer experience.
As an entrepreneur, having a college degree or getting classroom training won't hurt your chances for starting a successful business, but it's ultimately not necessary. In Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers," he makes a point that it takes approximately 10,000 hours to master a skill set at a professional level. That means experience, over traditional education.

What three business lessons did you learn from juvenile detention?
I learned a lot about business and life from my time spent incarcerated. I like to call these pieces of wisdom my Philosophies from the Jail Cell to the Boardroom. One of the biggest lessons I learned was that in Juvenile Hall, new guys always get tested. When I went in the first time, I was just a skinny little white kid and I had to learn fast. People will be bumping into you on the basketball court, or asking you for things, testing to see if you're tough.
And everyone knew that if a guy let someone take their milk during lunchtime, they weren't as tough as they looked. Soon you'd be taking their milk everyday, and so would everyone else. It's the same for business, if you give people the impression that you can be taken, you will be.

Also, adaptation is the key to survival. In jail the guy who rises to power isn't always the strongest or the smartest. As prisoners come and go, he's the one that adapts to the changing environment, while influencing the right people. You can use this in business, staying abreast of market trends, changing your game plan as technology shifts, and adapting our strategy around your company's strongest competitive advantages. Darwin was absolutely right — survival is a matter of how you respond to change.

The last lesson I got from jail is that you have to learn how to read people. You don't know who to trust. It's the same for business because a lot of people come into my office with a front. I have to figure out quickly who is the real deal and who isn't. Based on that fact, I developed an HR system that I use when interviewing potential new hires that I call the Connect Four Technique. Yep, you guessed it. I make my future employees — and I have hundreds of them — play me in Connect Four.

Can everyone be an entrepreneur? Can it be learned or do you have to be born with a special gene?
No. Not everyone can be an entrepreneur. There are two types of people in the world, domesticated and undomesticated. Some people are so domesticated through their social programming and belief system, so employee minded, that they could never be entrepreneurs. And they shouldn't even bother trying. The irony is that this is coming from a guy who teaches millions of people how to become entrepreneurs. I'm literally selling a book about becoming an entrepreneur, telling you that not everyone should read it.
To be an entrepreneur, you have to have fighting instincts. Are instincts genetic? I don't think so, but you 'inherit' them from your upbringing. Now, if you're smart you can reprogram your beliefs. But there are still some people that would rather watch other people be entrepreneurs, like the people in the Forbes "richest celebrity list" than take the time to reprogram themselves, and live their lives like rock stars, too.

Is there a need for business plans these days?
When you've really got the entrepreneurial bug, the last thing you want to do is sit down and write a business plan. It's the equivalent of writing a book about playing the guitar before actually knowing how to play the guitar. You don't know what your new business is going to be like. And just like a guitar, a business will have to be tweaked and tuned multiple times, and you'll need long practice sessions and repetition, before you can get even one successful song out of it.
In my book "Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain," I actually included a chapter called "I Hate Business Plans" where I talk about this. Most business plans that get sent to me, I close within seconds of opening them up because they are full of fluff and hype. A business plan should be simple, something you could scribble on a scratch pad. No more than three pages of your business objectives, expected results, and the strategy to get there. But the best business plan is one built from a business that is already up and running and that matches the business's actual results.
The point is that you should be so obsessed with your business that you can't sleep at night because that's all you can think about. And that's your ultimate "business plan"

Never underestimate woman power.

MCIS

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles perhour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.

"Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 80 km/h.


The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it", he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 100 km/h.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 120 km/h. "I want the car, too," he continues. Up to 140 km/h. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."


The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says.

"Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 150 km/h, the wife turns to him and smiles.
...."The airbag."....

Never underestimate how a woman thinks.


Moral of the story:

Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The husband sure die and wife gets everything!

So, for a husband don't buy a Vios today.... :)

Husbands, pls take insurance! but.. think twice for MCIS insurance.

Know why?

" M.C.I.S "= Mati Cepat Isteri Senang